Lipstick

Hey, will someone PLEASE tell the Dear Leader that the campaign and election are over and that he won (much to the horror of increasing numbers of Americans)?

He needs to be advised that he is now the president of all the people, not just the swooning, fainting, bawling, screaming, standing-O-ing Obamatrons.

Tell him to stop campaigning, get the hell back to the White House, and stop berating ordinary Americans who are terrified by his Thugocrisy and Chicago-style politics. There is no monopoly on free speech and he needs to stop insulting us. It's jejune and un-statesman-like. Besides, doesn't he have some banks, an auto maker, an insurance company and two wars to run?

Wait a second...don't tell him yet. Since he thinks he is still campaigning I may want to reminisce about some of my favorite moments from his 946 months on the stump:

Remember that day he jokingly referred to having been to 57 states, with 2 left to go?

Or on May 27 last year when he cracked everyone up by claiming to see many "fallen heroes" in the audience attending his Memorial Day speech?

What a kidder!

We all knew he was just cutting up when he assured the world that, if his daughter made a "mistake," he wouldn't want her to be "punished with a baby."

What a joker!

That all-American basketball nut, goofing off, referred to Senator Ted Kennedy's home state as "Massatoosits." What a howl!

Well, at least he didn't insult the Special Olympians (didn't Al Gore patent that one?), or select Joe Biden as...his...running...m---

Crap.

Okay, someone tell him.

I'll be over here reliving my absolute favorite memory from the campaign: Sarah Palin stating the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom (swoon, faint, bawl, scream, standing-O).