OMG! Who Wants To Play A Drinking Game?

Hey, with the big day mere hours away, I thought it might be fun to stock up the fridge, settle in with some chips and dip, and watch Ole Bare give Teddy his send off.

(Full disclosure alert: I have to work tomorrow during the eulogy, so will miss the live coverage; I'll probably buy the boxed set from the NBC store when it comes out and watch it then. If nothing else it will give me a reason to drink some cold suds. I'm posting here and now so others may benefit.)

I remember the good ole days when bitter liberals everywhere would gather during President Bush's State of the Union speeches and drink themselves silly whenever he would utter xenophobic phrases like 'Islamic Terrorists,' or 'Axis of Evil.' And WORSE - WORSE! - jingoistic phrases like 'Military Victory,' and 'American Exceptionalism.'

So, in the spirit of (insert Irish Pub name), I propose a drinking game!

And what does every drinking game need?

RULES!

(I can almost hear Uncle Ted clomping down a filthy rain-soaked alley in South East DC at two in the morning, howling out some indescernable drinking song...Goosebump City!)

Here we go. Every time Dear Leader utters one of the following words, the appropriate Player(s) must do the corresponding action. For example, if Big O says 'diversity,' the rules dictate that "male Players must do a shot." Simple enough, right?

*****Speaking of diversity, I want to be fair and even-handed in my oligarchy so I'm opening up the fun to crack and pot heads, too. (There's something here for everyone!)*****

Word..................Action:

"I........................All Players take a drink of beer
LOVE.................Female Players do a shot
MYSELF............Potheads do a bong hit
SO.......................All Players do a shot/Crackheads do a line
MUCH................Male Players take a drink of beer
EYE.....................Female Players take a drink of beer
CANNOT............Crackheads do a bong hit
STAND................Potheads do a line
IT".......................All Players do a shot and chug a full beer

Kapeesh?

Now, go have fun and don't hurt anybody!


Posted by Dennis Greza, Community Organ

(Note to self: Blog post on legalization of weed.)

Tweaked

Hey, that's not only the name of a Starryville tune (www.myspace.com/starryville), but also what I did to last night's post.

Re-enjoy!

Si se puede, Father...break out the black plywood

Hey, I understand General Motors Chairman Barack Obama will be eulogizing his dearly departed friend Senator Edward M. "Teddy" Kennedy this Saturday morning at The Basilica of Our Lady of Perpetual Help in the Mission Hill section of Boston.

"Here we go again...another Apology Tour," you're whining.

Not so fast.

That would take too much time (40,000,000 Lost Souls' worth, not counting Mary Jo), and Dear Leader's ego won't permit it.

(I'm not supposed to say this, but my sources tell me the plan is to have Mr. Obama perform a late-term abortion while smoking a Marlboro Red during his speech...kind of a ratings trial balloon sent aloft for the Sunday shows to kick around. The live feed from MSNBC will be funnier, though. Keith Olbermann will be like, "Rachel, I believe that is a number two scalpel the President is using ever so gently and expertly, like the Surgeon General might do." Rachel will be like, "Oh, my God! I love the way he taps his ashes! And he's a lefty!" Chris Matthews is going pee on his own legs again, spitting, "Board shorts! - who wears BOARD SHORTS to a funeral?! Looking at his bare pecs, I'd say he worked out this morning!")

No, He of the Big Ego will say some kind words about his former colleague - how he was blah blah blah and blah blah blah - and then launch into a campaign speech selling his own vision of the Utopian Ideal (admittedly, only 47 times more radical - therefore better - than Uncle Ted's.)

If there is a God - and I know there is - there is going to be another teleprompter malfunction.

CRASH!

Cue the black plywood to fall away, exposing - gasp! - the "IHS" monogram inscribed on a pediment behind Dear Leader.

The congregants will become uneasy and anxious, for this will certainly bring an apology...

And it will:

"I'm sorry I ever let my predecessor in here to prep this place," his voice will echo and then linger a full three seconds...

Wait for it...

Wait...

"Senator Kennedy would be, too."

Without Telly the Prompter, there will be only one thing left to say:

"May a higher power bless you and all 59 United States of The Americas."




Rest in Peace, Senator Kennedy. Say 'Hi' to John-John for me.

Nascar Day at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Hey, did you see Dear Leader - that Nascar nut - at the WH today with all those race car drivers in attendance? Right there in the Rose Garden! He spoke so knowledgeably about this uniquely American phenomenon that he probably didn't even need Telly the Prompter.

But, like a trusted blankey, it was there just in case he might slip up and say something Biden-esque.

I am wondering if, after the cameras were turned off, he dispensed bottles of calcium silicate to the guys so they could do the right thing and disable those "clunkers" they drive so fast and long and hard, needlessly exacerbating the demise of planet earth? What with that crappy gas mileage and all...

I think not. He can't alienate everyone in his first six months.

Hmmm.

Maybe at next year's "Remembering Nascar Day" the Dear One could unveil the new Presidential Limousine chase vehicle: GM's 2011 solar-powered SCRUED-U.

Yeah, probably not.

Plug pulled on Flag@WhiteHouse.gov

Hey, the new email address is Flag@I'mTellingDearLeaderOnYou!.gov

Please make a note of it.

Baghdad Robert Gibbs

Hey, does Baghdad Robert Gibbs expect us to believe that he believes the unrest occuring across the country is "not indicative" of most town hall meetings? I don't watch network news broadcasts but my sources tell me that the nightly news and morning shows (whose reporters -13 to date-have joined Dear Leader's administration), have been showcasing these events and charactarizing their participants in all manner of hyperbolic disingenuous ways.

Maybe BRG should watch a little cable news. Chris Matthews, spitting all over himself and his ever-so-fair-and-balanced guests, never ceases to amaze with his calculated condescension of the "teabaggers." (Matthews has this creepy fill-in host, Lawrence O'Donnell, but at least he's not a slobberer or spitter. He's merely creepy in a don't-leave-the-neices-or-nephews-alone- with-him kind of way.)

Rachel Olbermann and Keith Maddow (I know, I know), are literally unwatchable. I used to flip over there for a good laugh but no mas. It just wasn't funny anymore. It became deeply troublesome. Many thanks, Keith!

Maybe Mr. Gibbs has taken one too many of Dr. Obama's poison pills and he's becoming delusional.

Something else I have noticed are the signs being displayed at these town halls. All of the Acorn and union folks who are being bussed in have fresh-from-the-professional-printer signs with canned messages on them (e.g. 'We want Government-paid-for abortions! When do we want them? N.O.W.!')

The "Like-HELL-government-is-gonna-take-over-MY-healthcare" crowd shows up with homemade signs on poster board with messages written on them with colorful Sharpies (e.g. 'Michelle Malkin is hot!')

What is clearly indicative of the Obama town hall meetings is that the questions are all planted. Not surprising because we know the Administration plants questions at Dear Leader's press conferences.

When 13 year old Julia Hall "innocently" asked Dr. Obama why there were so many mean signs outside the town hall meeting, it would have been a more honest answer had he replied, "Because those people aren't allowed in here, sweetie. That's why their signs are outside."

Peace.

Specter-cle

Hey, Arlen Specter - Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute...wait a minute...wait a minute.

Now wait a minute! Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Wait a minute...wait a minute...wait a minute...wait a minute!

Wait a minute...wait a minute...wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

What a Statesman.

Channeling Hillary

Hey, as promised...

I believe Hillary will resign as Secretary of State by July 4, 2010 because she will be unable to take any more crap from the Administration. I have felt this way for several weeks but seeing her snap oh-so-unprofessionally the other day convinced me she is going to bail.

I also believe she will run against Dear Leader in 2012.

I haven't heard anyone else discuss this, so I just want to be on the record.

As you were.

Nostradennis

Hey, I will be posting a special prediction on this site tomorrow evening.

Stay tuned.

Lipstick

Hey, will someone PLEASE tell the Dear Leader that the campaign and election are over and that he won (much to the horror of increasing numbers of Americans)?

He needs to be advised that he is now the president of all the people, not just the swooning, fainting, bawling, screaming, standing-O-ing Obamatrons.

Tell him to stop campaigning, get the hell back to the White House, and stop berating ordinary Americans who are terrified by his Thugocrisy and Chicago-style politics. There is no monopoly on free speech and he needs to stop insulting us. It's jejune and un-statesman-like. Besides, doesn't he have some banks, an auto maker, an insurance company and two wars to run?

Wait a second...don't tell him yet. Since he thinks he is still campaigning I may want to reminisce about some of my favorite moments from his 946 months on the stump:

Remember that day he jokingly referred to having been to 57 states, with 2 left to go?

Or on May 27 last year when he cracked everyone up by claiming to see many "fallen heroes" in the audience attending his Memorial Day speech?

What a kidder!

We all knew he was just cutting up when he assured the world that, if his daughter made a "mistake," he wouldn't want her to be "punished with a baby."

What a joker!

That all-American basketball nut, goofing off, referred to Senator Ted Kennedy's home state as "Massatoosits." What a howl!

Well, at least he didn't insult the Special Olympians (didn't Al Gore patent that one?), or select Joe Biden as...his...running...m---

Crap.

Okay, someone tell him.

I'll be over here reliving my absolute favorite memory from the campaign: Sarah Palin stating the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom (swoon, faint, bawl, scream, standing-O).

Hillary, please call The Speaker

Hey, where is the outrage over Pelosi's claim that Republicans are showing up at town hall meetings carrying swastikas? I'd like her to provide some proof or apologize.

And all of the sudden, dissenters are "unamerican." Who does she think she is?

Even Obama claims to support "vigorous debate" (Though you'd have a difficult time proving that sophistry).

Do you recall Pelosi's outrage over Code Pink's and Cindy Sheehan's "protests" from that ditch down there in Crawford, Texas? I didn't think so.

I thought "dissent is the highest form of patriotism." Or are we just supposed to shut our mouths and pray no one turns us in at Flag@whitehouse.gov ?

Or maybe dissent is only reserved for liberals and their superior ideology? After all, isn't conservatism outdated and stale?

Hannity asked his "angry mob" callers today to adopt a mob name for themselves. Not wanting to be left out, I have chosen "Boom-Boom" for myself.

Here's my idea: Maybe we could get Hillary to call The Speaker. She could say something like, oh, I don't know... "I am sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and disagree with this administration, somehow you're not patriotic. We need to stand up and say we're Americans, and we have the right to debate and disagree with any administration."

Just a thought.

Chaz

Hey, Geraldo showed 21 year old jailhouse footage of Mr. Manson...he had a mullet.

I never watch Geraldo.

Hannity

Hey, I liked Sean's interview with Don & Diedre Imus - amazing what they do for kids with cancer. Mark as potential charitable giving recipient.

I wanna see Geraldo's (BTW he needs to lay off the suntan makeup, jeez), interview with the original madman, Chuck Manson.

OMG Ann is on Geraldo...gotta go.

Reading

Hey, like I said I am reading Liberty and Tyranny (12 weeks atop the NYT BS List), but wanted to make note of books I've read/purchased over the past 12 months:
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
Fay by Larry Brown (I loved Father and Son)
Anthem by Ayn Rand (re-read)
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (still working on it!)
Guilty by Ann Coulter (lent to Brother George)

Champagne, please!

Hey, this is my maiden voyage as a blogger!

I am widely percieved to be a snob & "above it all," so it shouldn't be a surprise that I have deactivated my Face***k account. I might have to sneak back in there sometime to get some addresses, etc. however.

I spent my weekend as a bachelor and here are the highlights:
-Great bike ride Friday evening, good sweat and swim afterwards;
-Viburnums pruned, clippings bagged, a few teetering moments on the ladder;
-Bought Mark R. Levin's "Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto" today and had goosebumps 2 pages into it;
-Saw - by myself - The Hurt Locker at Fair City Mall. I wanted to see this movie because I heard an interview with the director and the screenwriter and was impressed with their intention of telling this story without a political narrative. It was edgy and almost impossible to watch at times because of the very graphic violence but I think important to see how some men are selfless in their pursuit of their mission. It was very real and the editing was amazing. I loved how the characters didn't have to explain ANYTHING. The story unfolded That is what I strive for in my screenplays;
-Food was consumed of course... I made pickled beets, cucumbers with viniagrete from our garden; excellent tuna salad served on whole wheat EM's (English Muffins).

Matt will return to the compound (Hyas Kullstick), tomorrow night, after a weekend in Erie, PA, attending his class reunion and visiting Mom Patty.