In order to keep the peace in your home - or your hosts' - on Turkey Day, I humbly offer the following as a partial list of things to NOT say to the liberal attendees:
#10. Wow! You look like $1.7 Trillion!
#9. Thank God They finally closed Gitmo!
#8. This turkey tastes 30% better than it did last year!
#7. Our big screen TV has picture-in-picture! Maybe we can watch the football game while Glenn Beck is on!
#6. We're leaving for Aruba on December 17th; Sure can't wait to have my Fourth Amendment rights violated at the airport!
#5. I have absolutely no problem with President Obama starting work at 9:30 in the morning!
#4. If Joe Biden ever writes a book, I'll be the first in line to buy it!
#3. The Constitution is sooo 18th century!
#2. Everyone hates the Palins; Take Bristol, for example...
#1. Boy, that President Obama sure is jingoistic!
(Trust me, I could go on. Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone:)
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Rally To Restore Sanitation
Admittedly, I've never watched The Colbert Report or The Daily Show, so my preconceptions of what to expect at the Rally to Restore Sanity on the National Mall this afternoon were a bit skewed by my finely-tuned skepticism of all things remotely suspicious or fishy-smelling.
In large measure, the crowd was overwhelmingly white. I only mention this because the Tea Party is routinely excoriated by the MSM for being notoriously white with no visible minorities. I know from personal experience that this is far from true and also abject sophistry.
The turnout was (to me), surprisingly spectacular. I took the Metro from Vienna and got off at Foggy Bottom, mistakenly thinking the festivities were at the Reflecting Pool/Lincoln Memorial.
The wait to get on the train was long and the lines for tickets and platform access was nothing shy of The Rally to Restore Honor-esque.
I walked a twisting mile or so from 23rd Street to the heart of the venue near the U.S. Capitol, the size and scope of the crowd growing more and more evident once beyond the Washington Monument.
The Nerds, Socialists, Anarchists, Malcontents, Pot Heads, Collectivists, Obama Sycophants, No Borders Crowd and Staunch Secularists were mainly college students who spent little time blowing money on trivialities such as soap, deodorant or grooming products. Where you have the afore-mentioned, you will have the mandatory left over Viet Nam War protesters with gray pony tails wearing tie-dyed shirts. (NTS:Thinking World Bank Protesters here.)
Before long, it became apparent that these people had a strange fascination with dinosaurs and space travel. There were a lot of folks dressed in Halloween costumes, so there may be a blurry area between what was exaggerated camp and just plain straight-up camp; these people have a sense of humor...zoinks!
Take their signs, for example:
"This Is A Sign"
"You Come to the Rally with the Sign you have, not the Sign you wish you had"
"Smoke Weed Everyday"
"I Hate Crowds"
"Women Own All the Vaginas"
"I shaved My Balls For This?"
But my personal favorite was the three college boys (admittedly cute in a dirty way), holding their hands up above their heads, clutching imaginary posters. I asked them to turn around so I could read their "signs," and they obliged. I took their picture.
This stuff was funny and I caught myself having fun.
I kept moving, however slowly, through the throngs, the stage and Jon Liebowitz's voice bellowing incoherently off to my right. A great roar would rise up occasionally from the zombies and then more hysterical bellowing would resume.
It actually occurred to me at some point that this might well be the last time Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid would have to lament the offensive odor of tourists converging on the Capitol.
Maybe the most curious phenomenon I witnessed this afternoon was the sheer number of people sitting on top of the portable toilets. Hundreds of them, to the extent that some of the units' roofs were caving in from the weight. Though I couldn't hear the message being broadcast (at all), I had to imagine (with great difficulty), how important it must have been for these toilet-sitters to hear it that they endure huffing human feces fumes from a vent pipe on a dirty toilet roof.
Hey man, that's funny as sh*t!
I ended up walking to Dupont Circle (16 blocks), and grabbing a couple beers so as to endure the inevitable crush of stinky Collectivists on the Metro ride home.
In large measure, the crowd was overwhelmingly white. I only mention this because the Tea Party is routinely excoriated by the MSM for being notoriously white with no visible minorities. I know from personal experience that this is far from true and also abject sophistry.
The turnout was (to me), surprisingly spectacular. I took the Metro from Vienna and got off at Foggy Bottom, mistakenly thinking the festivities were at the Reflecting Pool/Lincoln Memorial.
The wait to get on the train was long and the lines for tickets and platform access was nothing shy of The Rally to Restore Honor-esque.
I walked a twisting mile or so from 23rd Street to the heart of the venue near the U.S. Capitol, the size and scope of the crowd growing more and more evident once beyond the Washington Monument.
The Nerds, Socialists, Anarchists, Malcontents, Pot Heads, Collectivists, Obama Sycophants, No Borders Crowd and Staunch Secularists were mainly college students who spent little time blowing money on trivialities such as soap, deodorant or grooming products. Where you have the afore-mentioned, you will have the mandatory left over Viet Nam War protesters with gray pony tails wearing tie-dyed shirts. (NTS:Thinking World Bank Protesters here.)
Before long, it became apparent that these people had a strange fascination with dinosaurs and space travel. There were a lot of folks dressed in Halloween costumes, so there may be a blurry area between what was exaggerated camp and just plain straight-up camp; these people have a sense of humor...zoinks!
Take their signs, for example:
"This Is A Sign"
"You Come to the Rally with the Sign you have, not the Sign you wish you had"
"Smoke Weed Everyday"
"I Hate Crowds"
"Women Own All the Vaginas"
"I shaved My Balls For This?"
But my personal favorite was the three college boys (admittedly cute in a dirty way), holding their hands up above their heads, clutching imaginary posters. I asked them to turn around so I could read their "signs," and they obliged. I took their picture.
This stuff was funny and I caught myself having fun.
I kept moving, however slowly, through the throngs, the stage and Jon Liebowitz's voice bellowing incoherently off to my right. A great roar would rise up occasionally from the zombies and then more hysterical bellowing would resume.
It actually occurred to me at some point that this might well be the last time Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid would have to lament the offensive odor of tourists converging on the Capitol.
Maybe the most curious phenomenon I witnessed this afternoon was the sheer number of people sitting on top of the portable toilets. Hundreds of them, to the extent that some of the units' roofs were caving in from the weight. Though I couldn't hear the message being broadcast (at all), I had to imagine (with great difficulty), how important it must have been for these toilet-sitters to hear it that they endure huffing human feces fumes from a vent pipe on a dirty toilet roof.
Hey man, that's funny as sh*t!
I ended up walking to Dupont Circle (16 blocks), and grabbing a couple beers so as to endure the inevitable crush of stinky Collectivists on the Metro ride home.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Farenheit 12/25 or The Case of the Naughty Bits Bomber
It wasn't until I heard Professor Barack Hussein Obama speak Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's name aloud for the first time on Thursday afternoon (the ennunciation was flawless, respectful), that I started to think that the Christmas Day Terrorist Attack in the sky above the Detroit suburbs was an inside job.
After all, "That One" gave himself a "Good, solid B+," when grilled by the ruthless, unrelenting Oprah.
During His watch, a Nigerian (am I allowed to say that?), jihadist tried to blow his meat and two sides off, potentially taking 289 innocents down with him in an engulfed American airliner. BiggO's lightning quick response was to slather on some more SPF 50 and grab a pitching wedge in Hawaii.
Still a B+?
(Sidebar: Who was dressing him over there at that shaved ice joint? That shirt he was wearing was WAAAAYYY too big for his boney frame. That was a blouse. I didn't see his britches but I assume he was wearing his Mom Jeans. Fashion Malfunction Mandatory Demerit).
Back to content.
Oh! And the Obama White House's first State Dinner (held in a Bedouin tent in the back yard), was infiltrated by a couple (now three), professional attention-seeking crackpots from Fairfax County.
Still a B+?
An army of unaccountable czars, a thirst for fruitless mega-super-ultra spending, bellicose unapologetic FOX News-bashing, a racist supreme court judge appointment, record budget deficits, overseas abortion funding, stealthy tax hikes, Maddam Tuussaud's-looking democrat leaders and a continuing penchant for keying American ideals and traditions are beginning to wear on the American populace.
I contend that the grade America's detractors and - frankly - enemies, would give the Prof is a good, solid B+. The bomb plot failed; give them charred bodies and you tip over into an A-.
An approval rating hovering around 49% is a good, solid F where I grew up; No questions asked, you were shaking in your shoes till your father came home; "The system worked" at my house.
Enter the very ironically glib Robert Gibbs, sophist-extraordinaire. On second thought, get him out of here, he's creepy. (He'll be gone soon anyway. I heard a bloated Michael Anthony Hall is replacing him...see if anyone notices.)
Where are the 9/11 conspiracy theorists on the nearly-successful airline bomb job? To the extent that he blamed the B*sh administration for the entirety of 9/11, where is Michael Moore and his camera crews? Robbins and Sarandon are splitzky so they're probably in Cuba and Venezuela, respectively, and not actively agitating. Anyone hear from Sean Penn lately?
Where is Bill Moyers? Olber-pear-shaped-mann?
And what about that teenaged boy wearing the wife beater and Walter Cronkite glasses, Rachel Maddow?
Maybe they just acted stupidly. Or voted present. Whichever it is, it cannot be denied that on-the-job-training at the Presidential level is often accompanied by insidious, pervasive, colateral damage.
After all, "That One" gave himself a "Good, solid B+," when grilled by the ruthless, unrelenting Oprah.
During His watch, a Nigerian (am I allowed to say that?), jihadist tried to blow his meat and two sides off, potentially taking 289 innocents down with him in an engulfed American airliner. BiggO's lightning quick response was to slather on some more SPF 50 and grab a pitching wedge in Hawaii.
Still a B+?
(Sidebar: Who was dressing him over there at that shaved ice joint? That shirt he was wearing was WAAAAYYY too big for his boney frame. That was a blouse. I didn't see his britches but I assume he was wearing his Mom Jeans. Fashion Malfunction Mandatory Demerit).
Back to content.
Oh! And the Obama White House's first State Dinner (held in a Bedouin tent in the back yard), was infiltrated by a couple (now three), professional attention-seeking crackpots from Fairfax County.
Still a B+?
An army of unaccountable czars, a thirst for fruitless mega-super-ultra spending, bellicose unapologetic FOX News-bashing, a racist supreme court judge appointment, record budget deficits, overseas abortion funding, stealthy tax hikes, Maddam Tuussaud's-looking democrat leaders and a continuing penchant for keying American ideals and traditions are beginning to wear on the American populace.
I contend that the grade America's detractors and - frankly - enemies, would give the Prof is a good, solid B+. The bomb plot failed; give them charred bodies and you tip over into an A-.
An approval rating hovering around 49% is a good, solid F where I grew up; No questions asked, you were shaking in your shoes till your father came home; "The system worked" at my house.
Enter the very ironically glib Robert Gibbs, sophist-extraordinaire. On second thought, get him out of here, he's creepy. (He'll be gone soon anyway. I heard a bloated Michael Anthony Hall is replacing him...see if anyone notices.)
Where are the 9/11 conspiracy theorists on the nearly-successful airline bomb job? To the extent that he blamed the B*sh administration for the entirety of 9/11, where is Michael Moore and his camera crews? Robbins and Sarandon are splitzky so they're probably in Cuba and Venezuela, respectively, and not actively agitating. Anyone hear from Sean Penn lately?
Where is Bill Moyers? Olber-pear-shaped-mann?
And what about that teenaged boy wearing the wife beater and Walter Cronkite glasses, Rachel Maddow?
Abdulmutallab, instead of being waterboarded and subjected to ear-splitting Adam Lambert music, was treated by our government to world-class health care (usually reserved for Congress), for his singed naughty bits (including pain killers), and a battery of lawyers to represent him in a criminal court!
Eric Holder's decision (and it was 100% his decision, with no influence from anyone...no, really!), to try Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in a New York City - you guessed it - criminal court, should only enrage the average U.S. citizen, not shock him.
Similarly, the Fort Hood shooter, with a blaring track record of empathizing with Islamic extremists, was given 5 star medical care and lawyers before the first of his 12 victims was laid to rest.
For his part, good, solid B+ student Obama confessed to an administration ridden with abject failure on matters of national security Thursday afternoon and we have to give him credit for that.Maybe they just acted stupidly. Or voted present. Whichever it is, it cannot be denied that on-the-job-training at the Presidential level is often accompanied by insidious, pervasive, colateral damage.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
How Do You Solve A Problem Like Newsweek?
Hey, with newsstand and subscription sales plummeting for the last eight years (at least), it only seems logical that Newsweek would resort to stealing a photo of Sarah Palin from Runner's World magazine in an attempt to bump up sales. She is, afterall, the epitome of your average American Super Megastar.
Though it is a very attractive photograph of the former GOP VP candidate, it obviously is not appropriate for a so-called news publication's cover. That point cannot be argued. If Speaker of the House Nancy Lugosi had been asked to pose for Runner's World, would...nevermindnevermindnevermind...
Newsweak is little more than a pamphlet nowadays; I assume they will go all black and white soon just to keep the lights on.
No One, or only A Few Loser Nobodies anyway, reads - or subscribes to - Newsweak anymore.
Author/Editor/Sexist Evan Thomas, obviously a deranged misogynist, hates strong, self-made women like Governor Palin. His disdain for pro-life, pro-Second Amendment, anti-big-government feminine women helps feed Newsweak's biased "content."
He sure idolizes feckless, inexperienced, Alinsky-educated U.S. Presidents though, ala his declaration that Obama is "sort of God" in June, 2009. A "god" of little substance or accomplishment I would add.
Somehow Mr. Thomas is threatened by women who posess strong moral convictions like Margaret Thatcher, Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin. He would probably feel more comfortable doing shots with Mollie Ivans, Rachel Maddow or Wanda Sykes.
Julie Andrews' character, Maria, in The Sound of Music shares several attributes with Mrs. Palin: religous faith, strong family values, tenacity, grit, endurance, perseverance, humility, a love of children and of mankind. Mr. Thomas obviously feels these are qualities to be repudiated. How else to explain the incredulity of the question posed on the magazine's November 23 cover?
And the sub-head? "She's bad news for the GOP -- and for everybody else, too."
Not "Why she is..." rather, "She is..."
How objective of you, Evan.
My guess is that Sarah Palin has pre-sold more copies of Going Rogue than Newsweak will sell of their rag all year. (This, of course, does not include the copies they give away to urologists' offices.)
"I especially love moose and caribou. I always remind people...that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes."
-Sarah Palin in Going Rogue
Though it is a very attractive photograph of the former GOP VP candidate, it obviously is not appropriate for a so-called news publication's cover. That point cannot be argued. If Speaker of the House Nancy Lugosi had been asked to pose for Runner's World, would...nevermindnevermindnevermind...
Newsweak is little more than a pamphlet nowadays; I assume they will go all black and white soon just to keep the lights on.
No One, or only A Few Loser Nobodies anyway, reads - or subscribes to - Newsweak anymore.
Author/Editor/Sexist Evan Thomas, obviously a deranged misogynist, hates strong, self-made women like Governor Palin. His disdain for pro-life, pro-Second Amendment, anti-big-government feminine women helps feed Newsweak's biased "content."
He sure idolizes feckless, inexperienced, Alinsky-educated U.S. Presidents though, ala his declaration that Obama is "sort of God" in June, 2009. A "god" of little substance or accomplishment I would add.
Somehow Mr. Thomas is threatened by women who posess strong moral convictions like Margaret Thatcher, Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin. He would probably feel more comfortable doing shots with Mollie Ivans, Rachel Maddow or Wanda Sykes.
Julie Andrews' character, Maria, in The Sound of Music shares several attributes with Mrs. Palin: religous faith, strong family values, tenacity, grit, endurance, perseverance, humility, a love of children and of mankind. Mr. Thomas obviously feels these are qualities to be repudiated. How else to explain the incredulity of the question posed on the magazine's November 23 cover?
And the sub-head? "She's bad news for the GOP -- and for everybody else, too."
Not "Why she is..." rather, "She is..."
How objective of you, Evan.
My guess is that Sarah Palin has pre-sold more copies of Going Rogue than Newsweak will sell of their rag all year. (This, of course, does not include the copies they give away to urologists' offices.)
"I especially love moose and caribou. I always remind people...that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes."
-Sarah Palin in Going Rogue
Friday, November 6, 2009
Confidential To That Idiot Rachel Maddow
Preamble to the U.S. Constitution:
We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Confession Time: I tried to copy and paste this from several websites only to learn Blogspot apparently doesn't allow it. Determined to get this posted, and not having the Preamble committed to memory, I typed it - phrase by phrase - into the "New Post" box-thing.
To my delight, I became absolutely captivated by the simplicity and brilliance of this single paragraph, by each sentence.
And Rachel Maddow is still an idiot. A free idiot, but still an idiot. She and BSNBC deserve each other.
DG
We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Confession Time: I tried to copy and paste this from several websites only to learn Blogspot apparently doesn't allow it. Determined to get this posted, and not having the Preamble committed to memory, I typed it - phrase by phrase - into the "New Post" box-thing.
To my delight, I became absolutely captivated by the simplicity and brilliance of this single paragraph, by each sentence.
And Rachel Maddow is still an idiot. A free idiot, but still an idiot. She and BSNBC deserve each other.
DG
Thursday, October 29, 2009
My Emily Litella Moment
Hey, turns out Glen Beck has something in common with House Majority Weasel Harry Reid. Most people won't know about it until Hairy is defeated in November, 2010, though.
Why? Because that's when it will be fashionable to bash Mormons again.
Sure, Mitt Romney took a few punches during the last prezzie race because of his Mormonism, but for the most part, the MSM had to keep the Oh-My-Joseph-Smith-He's-A-Mormon! hyperbole at a dull hum, given one of their (LMAO), "big guns" was also "infected."
Well, after Hairy's tenure as HMW is summarily cancelled by the good people of Nevada next year, all the creepy talking heads will descend on the FOX News Network and Glen Beck with a fresh round of hate and intolerance disguised as "investigative reporting," or an "Inside Look."
"Some in the close-knit Utah valley community are beginning to talk...here are their unbelievable stories..."
Just be prepared.
Don't be like me, thinking all this time that Keith and Rachel and Chris and Larry and Ed over at BSNBC have been referring to Beck as a Moron.
Nevermind.
Why? Because that's when it will be fashionable to bash Mormons again.
Sure, Mitt Romney took a few punches during the last prezzie race because of his Mormonism, but for the most part, the MSM had to keep the Oh-My-Joseph-Smith-He's-A-Mormon! hyperbole at a dull hum, given one of their (LMAO), "big guns" was also "infected."
Well, after Hairy's tenure as HMW is summarily cancelled by the good people of Nevada next year, all the creepy talking heads will descend on the FOX News Network and Glen Beck with a fresh round of hate and intolerance disguised as "investigative reporting," or an "Inside Look."
"Some in the close-knit Utah valley community are beginning to talk...here are their unbelievable stories..."
Just be prepared.
Don't be like me, thinking all this time that Keith and Rachel and Chris and Larry and Ed over at BSNBC have been referring to Beck as a Moron.
Nevermind.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Obama Approves 40,000 Troops
Hey, Bamster's Director of Communications, Anita Dunn, announced this afternoon that the Administration has approved 40,000 U.S. Army troops for immediate deployment to the Fox News campus in Manhattan.
The announcement was made without fanfare and it is widely believed B.O.'s base will embrace the initiative.
Fox News, when contacted for comment and reaction, burst out laughing.
The announcement was made without fanfare and it is widely believed B.O.'s base will embrace the initiative.
Fox News, when contacted for comment and reaction, burst out laughing.
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